What is Child Inclusive Mediation?
Supporting children’s voices during separation
Child Inclusive Mediation is an evidence-based process for parents who are separated or going through separation and are in dispute. It supports parents to reach agreements while keeping the focus on their children.
When things feel tense or stuck between parents, children often carry the emotional weight. Many don’t express how they truly feel, they may try to protect you, avoid conflict, or not know how to put their feelings into words. As a result, their experiences can remain unheard.
When these feelings stay inside, they can sometimes show up in other ways, such as increased anxiety, school refusal, difficulties with concentration, or a drop in academic performance. Some children may become more withdrawn, while others may show changes in behavior, mood, sleep, or relationships with family and friends.
In this process, your child meets with a trained practitioner in a safe and supportive environment, where they can talk openly about their experience. They are reassured that they are not responsible for making decisions, and that their role is simply to share what life feels like for them.
The practitioner then shares this understanding with parents and the mediator in a respectful way, helping you better understand your child and make more informed, child-focused decisions.
This approach combines understanding children’s emotional needs with professional feedback and a structured mediation process. It can help reduce conflict, improve communication, and support children’s adjustment during separation.
Child Inclusive Mediation is usually suitable for school-aged children and older, though younger children may also be included where appropriate.
This process is not about children making decisions, but about helping parents move forward with a clearer understanding of their child’s needs.
How does it work?
Child Inclusive Mediation usually takes place over a number of sessions (minimum of 6 hours per matter) and includes the following steps:
- Parent Consultation
Parents are seen separately, either in person or online. This allows us to understand your situation, the dynamics within the family, and each parent’s perspective of how the children are coping emotionally and developmentally. This stage also ensures the process is appropriate for your family.
- Child Session
Your child meets with a trained practitioner in a calm, safe, and age-appropriate environment at the clinic.
If there are siblings, they are usually seen together first, and then individually. Sessions are tailored to the child’s age and may include activities such as drawing, playing, or using creative tools to help them feel comfortable and not overwhelmed.
The practitioner explains privacy and confidentiality in a way the child can understand, including its limits, and ensures the child feels safe and comfortable with the process.
- Feedback to Parents
A feedback session is then held with the parents, usually with the parents’ mediator as well. The practitioner brings the child’s voice into the room, sharing their experiences, emotional state, and how they are experiencing the separation, including their concerns, hopes, and what feels important to them (while respecting what the child prefers to keep private).
This helps parents better understand their child’s perspective, where they are developmentally and emotionally, and provides guidance on arrangements that may best support the child.
- Mediation & Planning
Parents then work together to develop practical, child-focused arrangements moving forward, with the child’s needs clearly in mind.